The Back-to-School Mental Load

While the back-to-school season can be an exciting time for families, it can also be a time that brings up stress that goes unnoticed. New schedules, figuring out transportation, buying school supplies, and so many more little details can leave parents with a lot to think about. Though each task seems small on its own, things eventually add up.

The mental load of back-to-school season doesn’t only include the things that need to be done, but also things that need to be remembered. For example, school forms, homework, sports practices, work schedules, school events, and so much more. Parents may be thinking about several things at once, especially parents with multiple children.

There can also be financial stress that comes along with going back to school. In trying to purchase new clothes, new shoes, school supplies, and other expenses, the cost adds up. For families who are already struggling financially, these costs may create even more stress. Parents may find themselves trying to figure out what they actually need to buy now, what has to be sacrificed, and what can wait.

We also can’t forget about the fact that the entire family is making an adjustment at this time. How do parents deal with their kids growing up? What if they don’t make friends at a new school? Will they be able to keep up with their work? What if their kid hates school? Even kids that are excited to go back to school could have trouble adjusting. Though parents may want to help their children with these types of concerns, they have to manage their own stress as well.

Younger kids may need help getting ready in the morning. Students may need help with homework after school. Both parents and kids can come home tired and frustrated from the day, and feeling overwhelmed by everything that needs to be done. Not every family has the same amount of support to help manage these responsibilities either. A single parent may be responsible for everything on their own. Some parents work long or irregular hours. Some families don’t necessarily have a strong support system, especially if they don’t live near family. When there are fewer people available to share responsibilities, tasks that seem small can be a lot more difficult to manage.

What to do When Small Things Add Up

Though signing one school form may not seem overwhelming, and neither does packing one lunch, or reaching out to one teacher, parents are rarely ever responsible for only one thing. With many responsibilities stacking up at one time, it can become difficult to keep track of everything. Parents may feel like they are always thinking about what they have to do next, and how to make sure they aren’t forgetting anything.

If you’re a parent, the first thing to remember is that stress doesn’t necessarily mean that you aren’t good at managing things. Sometimes, there’s really just a lot to manage. Your circumstances influence the way you are able to handle things, as well. Routines that may work for a family with 2 available parents, flexible work schedules, nearby friends and family, or more financial resources may not work for families without those types of support.

Instead of trying to do everything perfectly, it could be helpful to think of ways to make your load a little lighter where you can.

1. Get things out of your head. Trying to mentally keep track of every deadline, practice, appointment, spirit day, and school event can become exhausting. A calendar, whiteboard, notes app, or even a piece of paper on the refrigerator can give you one place to keep important information instead of trying to remember everything.

2. Let kids take on age-appropriate responsibilities. Parents don’t necessarily have to be responsible for every part of the school routine. Depending on their age, kids may be able to pack their backpack, choose their clothes for the next day, refill their water bottle, keep track of sports equipment, or make sure their homework is in their bag. This not only makes your life easier, but helps teach your kids responsibility.

3. Make mornings require fewer decisions. Preparing lunches, choosing clothes, charging devices, or putting backpacks and shoes in the same place the night before can make mornings less stressful.

4. Create routines. When possible, having a general routine for mornings, homework, dinner, and bedtime can mean fewer things that have to be figured out each day. It may take some trial and error before you find a routine that actually works for your family. For example, is it better to do homework before or after sports practices? This is another one that not only makes parents’ lives easier, but teaches kids healthy habits.

5. Look into resources. Don’t assume that you have to cover everything on your own. Many schools and community organizations may have school supply programs, clothing closets, meal assistance, transportation resources, after-school programs, and other support available to families. There is nothing wrong with using resources that are there to help!

6. Decide what is actually a priority. It’s also important to remember that you have to pick your battles, and not everything is urgent. It may not be realistic to get everything done perfectly, and that is okay.

Finding Your Rhythm

The beginning of the school year is simply a transition, and it can take a few weeks to figure out which routines work and which ones need to change. If the first few weeks feel stressful, don’t panic just yet! That doesn’t mean the whole year will feel that way. You can always make adjustments as you learn what works and what doesn’t.

The goal doesn’t have to be a perfectly organized school year as much as finding what works for you and your family. There will always be a lot to manage, but over time, you can find a rhythm that makes it feel a little easier.